If you think your relationship is totally bonkers, we’ve got news for you: You’ve got absolutely nothing on these stories from Reddit's relationships forum, r/relationships.
In case you somehow live under a internet rock, let us explain a bit more about one of Reddit’s most entertaining subs. On r/relationships, average men and women from around the globe can log on and ask strangers for love advice, share the ups and downs of partnership, and laugh their asses off at other people’s romantic misfortunes. Sometimes, the stories are just so out there, it's hard to believe they're true.
Suspend your disbelief for a minute, read a few wildly outrageous love tails, and thank the heavens these relationship problems haven't happened to you. Here are 8 crazy relationship stories from Reddit, edited and condensed for clarity.
The girl who wants to leave her boyfriend for mansplaining Game of Thrones.
All reddit user oooopppssss wanted to do was enjoy a few good episodes of Game of Thrones with her man. But he apparently would rather explain each and every episode to her in great detail instead.
My (23f) boyfriend (35m) enjoys explaining what's going on in Game of Thrones to me after an episode. I accidentally upstaged him yesterday, and now he won't talk to me. (Possible spoilers)
I've told him that I've read the books. Whether he processed this? Thought I was lying? I don't know. I do know that he has not read [A Song of Ice and Fire]. I do know that he thinks he know more about the series than I do. This is hilariously false, but his enthusiasm was really cute when we first got together. I didn't mind at all that he wanted to talk and talk and talk about what he thought was going to happen, even if that meant he was talking over me at times. This was like watching Red Wedding reaction videos all over again.
Since then it has lost its appeal. Especially since after an episode ends, he has for some reason started to feel the need to recap it for me like I managed to process absolutely nothing about the last hour. I acknowledge that I fucked up by not speaking up about not needing him to do this for me. Still, even when the shtick was worn paper thin, he clearly enjoys explaining. I guess I didn't want to take that away from him.
Then I did, and I was a mega bitch about it. I was frustrated after he shot down what is 99.9 percent fact after the last episode, and ended up raising my voice when he pushed his theory. In front of company, so now there's a healthy dose of embarrassment on top of my guilt too. Well, his friend agreed with me. After that he shut down. Later he was super cold to me when I tried to apologize for raising my voice. He wouldn't even say good morning to me today when we were both up and getting ready to go to work, and now he only texted to say to not wait up for him tonight.
I know I should have probably spoken up earlier, or not maybe not said anything at all. I'm just not sure how to navigate this now. Do I go back to just shutting up? Is it too late to continue to pretend to not get what's happening on the show? I just don't want to be frozen out.
The man who just wants to get rid of his wife’s terrible renaissance painting.
There are bad gifts, and then there are terrible, awful, just-burn-it-instead gifts. And the latter includes personalized renaissance paintings of you and your wife. Somebody, please help reddit user jimmyrayreid figure out a way to dump this painting deep in the woods, or at the bottom of a lake, or “accidentally” throw it in a fire for him.
My wife [28F] and I [30M] are rowing about my Brother-In- Law's gift: A painting of us in medieval costume
So my brother-in-law is a decent amateur artist, but nothing great. This Christmas, short of money (I imagine. He is a PhD student) he decided to paint us as a surprise gift. The painting is of my wife and I dressed as a medieval Knight and lady. I have been told that it is because my wife likes the ballad of Tam Lin and I am a fan of the Pre-Raphaelites. Both of those things are true, but I can't see their influence in it.
So firstly, whilst it does look like me, and is flattering, it doesn't look like my wife at all, which she admits to an extent. It looks like a much older woman. Secondly, the people are a bit out of proportion. Secondly, it looks like the kind of thing incredibly self-possessed people in films might have. It is laughable to think someone might have a portrait of themselves on the wall dressed as a knight or a lady. I'm not into the whole fantasy thing either. I am absolutely certain that people will laugh at it, and then us for it.
On seeing it, my initial reaction was that he was trolling us, and that no one in their right mind could believe we would want such a thing. He has been to our house and he knows that we are very choosy with our art (which is original, by professionals, and nothing like what he has given us) Apparently my wife thinks we should actually display it. But the mere sight of it makes me cringe. It is totally hateful to me.
So my wife is angry at my reaction because he has put a lot of work into it (which I won't deny) She wants an apology for being unpleasant (need to clarify, he wasn't there when I first saw it. She brought it home) I feel like if I back down I will have the damn thing on my wall, and I can't tolerate it being anywhere in view. I know it is unreasonable to actually ask to throw it away. But I hard veto people being able to see it.
Also, my reaction was honest. I do hate it. I'm willing to accept that he didn't do it deliberately, but I struggle to think of a gift I could have received I would hate less. Basically I feel that it will make us the butt of the joke, and I don't want that to happen in my own house.
The guy with two-inch insecurity
As everyone already knows, it’s not about size, it’s how you use it. But, apparently, this very average sized man didn’t get the memo.
I [24M] am shorter than my girlfriend [22F] when she wears heels and she refuses to wear anything but heels.
Alright, so this is going to sound super petty but I think it looks weird when a girl is taller than the guy she's with. Normally it's never a problem for me. I'm 5'10" and the girls I've dated always happened to be around 5'3"-5'6". This girl I'm dating now though, is 5'8". It wasn't a problem when we first met because she was wearing flats and I was wearing boots, so I didn't even think about it.
Now that we're dating, she constantly wants to wear heels anytime we go anywhere. Now she's towering over me and I hate it. When we first went out I didn't want to start off on the wrong foot so I didn't say anything except for just "Wow. You're tall. Alrighty then." And now it's been two months and she's still doing it. I've spoken to her about it, saying that I hate how it makes us look and she keeps saying it's fine and that I'm being stupid for thinking it looks bad.
The crazy cat lady to end all crazy cat ladies
Honestly, this is one of the more reasonable things we’ve seen on r/relationships. Reddit user catbirthdayparty (we bet you already see where this is going) asked users: Is it really that crazy she threw an elaborate birthday celebration for her 16-year-old cat?
Me (34F) with my BF (41M) of 2 years. Got mad at me because I took my cat (16M) to a park for the cat's birthday. Am I really a crazy cat lady?
I've had my cat since he was 6 months old. He was an "unadoptable" rescue. He had so-called unsurvivable pneumonia, and when healthy, was nothing but fear aggression. I was basically cat hospice.
Well, he lived. And he loved. He's the purring-est, snuggliest, sweetest cat. He is now a chubby 16-year-old with arthritis (treated with Dasuquin, which has helped immensely, but he's not a kitten anymore).We used to live in a first-floor apartment where we could sit outside and I could read and he could be on his tie out and watch birds. Now we don't anymore.
Shortly before his 16th birthday, he slipped and/or fell off the bathroom vanity. I didn't see it happen, I only saw the cat who couldn't stand without screaming afterward. We rushed him to the vet and miraculously nothing was broken, but that left the question of what he DID do. Even in a bad sprain, it may always be weak and he may never walk normally again, or walk at all. If he tore a tendon or ligament, it was basically over. Orthopedic surgeries and senior cats don't usually end well.
For a week and a half, we brought him food and water. We gave him his pain meds. We set him in the litter and held him up. We lifted him onto and off of the bed. It was basically a cat nursing home up in here. Just when we thought he would never get up again, he did exactly that. Then he walked a few steps. Then it was cat PT. Making him go a little further every day. Getting his strength back up. A month later, aside from sitting over on one hip when he sits, you would never know he had ever been hurt.
For his 16th, I loaded him into the car (which he doesn't mind at all) and took him to a park by the lake. He spent a couple hours watching ducks and warming his old bones in the sun.
My boyfriend was indignant. How the cat doesn't even know it's his birthday, what a waste of time, who does that, etc etc. No, he doesn't know it's his birthday. But he knows he's doing something he enjoys. He knows he feels better than he had been. He knows those things. Now it's 3 months later and my BF is STILL on about cat birthday outings. Idgi. He helped care for him when, he was injured and did probably more than I did, because I work 10 hour shifts. So I guess staying home to care for an injured cat isn't crazy cat person, but taking the cat to a park is? I mean, there's whole parks devoted to dogs where dogs can see their dog friends. So what's weird about taking a cat out for one afternoon? He's really starting to make me feel like shit about it.
The man who wouldn't take his girlfriend's My Little Pony on his family vacation.
This woman has a few complaints about her boyfriend. One, that he won't take photos for her on vacation. And two...that he, a grown adult, won't tote around her My Little Pony. Needless to say, we're not particularly sympathetic to her cause.
Am I being an irrational crazy girl because my boyfriend won't take any pictures for me...or should I call him out on his behavior? Full story inside.
I'm a 27 year old gal and he's a 23 year old guy. We have been dating for over a year and a half and it is a long distance relationship, he is six hours away from me. Despite the distance, it is the best relationship I have ever been in. It is the longest relationship I have ever had too. I love him, he loves me.
...Right now he is on a vacation with his family in Ireland. All my life, if there was anywhere I could go if I could, Ireland would be it. So I was super excited he was getting to go, because if I can't go, him going is the next best thing.
The first thing I ask him to do is to take my My Little Pony Rarity with him so he could take pictures of it in different places. It sounds dumb...but I thought it would be super awesome to have pictures of my pony in another country if I couldn't go. He was dead set against it though because he thought it was embarrassing, but I talked him into it before he left because I told him it was like me being there, even though I couldn't be. The day before he left, his mom saw it and chuckled at it, and he broke down and just didn't want to take it. I told him not to worry about it and to just take lots of pictures for me. I was a bit bummed...but I didn't want him to feel uncomfortable about it.
Fast forward to today, two days into the trip. We were finally able to talk over Skype, but not for long because he can't charge his battery ... Eventually, we get to talking about taking pictures, and I ask him if he's been taking pictures for me, because I really wanted pictures from him. He tells me no, that he doesn't feel like taking pictures, but his dad is, and I can look at his pictures when they get home ... I tell him I don't want to look at his dad's pictures, that I want HIM to take pictures for me, and he won't do it and can't understand why I'm getting upset over this and why I don't want to look at his dad's pictures.
Between ... him not taking the pony, and not taking pictures at all, I'm left feeling like he doesn't care at all. I know its pretty childish, all of it. I don't know if I'm being a crazy emotional woman or if I really should feel this way. It's just like he doesn't care...even though I know he does. The first thing he said to me was that he missed me, couldn't wait for the 14th (which is when I'm going to visit him), and that he wished I were there because the vacation would be so much better then.
The guy who put his girlfriend in a truly shitty situation.
If you’re in a relationship for a long enough time, you’ll find that your partner has at least one habit you find disgusting. But walking around in a poop-filled blanket may take the cake.
How do I [25F] make my boyfriend [22M] understand that this is gross??
So the thing is my boyfriend and I have extremely different cleaning standards and there's things I find completely disgusting that he thinks are just fine, and this is one of them: we hang out naked in our place a lot, and he was wrapped in a blanket yesterday and farted and then immediately went to the bathroom and I realized there was a bunch of small stains there where his bum had just been... so yeah there was a bit of poop there. I thought it was kinda funny but gross enough not to use that blanket any more until it had been washed, and he said it was okay to use but said "fuck it" and tossed it aside.
Then today, after we discussed it a little bit further and I made it clear a poopy blanket was gross, I saw him wearing it again while he was cooking something for me. Of course I feel disgusted and said I won't eat something that's been made by someone wrapped in a poopy blanket, but he thinks I'm being unreasonable.
So I am turning to you, Reddit peeps, because I need to know: am I really being unreasonable, or am I right thinking it's gross??
The girl whose boyfriend won't stop with the baby talk.
There is perhaps no more telling a sign that someone is a serial killer than if they baby talk. All. The. Time. Someone, please help this woman get into witness protection.
My (24/F) BF (28/M) constantly baby talks.. I'm embarrassed!
My partner of 2 years constantly baby talks! At first, it was cute but not anymore. It's embarrassing! I recently started working in the city so we commute to and from work together during peak times. Every morning on the train, he'd repeatedly tell me he "needs to poo" in a kiddy voice. He's done this every fucking day since I started the job.
Recently, we were on the train home and he kept doing the 'kissy' sounds to get me to kiss him. And of course, this guy standing next to me kept glancing at us weirdly the whole time. One time, a lady hit me with her huge bag so he kept pretending to spit in her bag and another lady saw it and was giggling.
I don't know how to tell him to stop this behavior because it's gotten out of hand. I'm sick of starting my mornings hearing about how badly he needs to take a "poop" x100. When I tell him that I was tired of hearing it, he starts pouting and saying I don't love him. I'm at my wits end. How can I tell him to stop without hurting his feelings?
The guy who's deeeefinitely getting catfished.
We’re in the age of internet dating, and with it come a lot of perils: Do they look like their picture? Are they as nice as they seem in text? But for this dude, it’s more like, does this person actually exist in the first place?
My best friend has fallen deep in love with what is most certainly a catfish but he won't listen to me. How to make him snap out of it?
I (35 M) feel like I'm losing my best friend (36 M). About 4 months ago, my best friend from childhood started talking to this girl (34 F) he met on OK Cupid. She sent him pictures, and she's stunning. She tells him: she has only been with one other guy, she's a VIRGIN?!, is a vegan just like him, plays the same sports as him, was a nurse practitioner and recently got her license to practicing medicine as an MD...and most fishy of all won't video chat with him.
They were supposed to meet in person a couple months ago, but she took a trip out of town and all of a sudden her dad had a stroke and mom got cancer (within a month of each other) and so she went across the country to take care of them. She says she doesn't want to video chat because she says she wants the first time they meet to be special—and says that she's old fashioned like that (she's from the Philippines and says that she's very traditional). I told him to at least ask her to take a picture of herself with the date or his name or something as proof and he told me "her camera broke on her cell phone..." He wants to take her for her word until he meets her and sees for himself.
...She apparently got a job as a doctor at the same hospital her dad is staying at. I know what you're saying, call the hospital and confirm that there's no doctor by that name working there, right? Well, the hospital she used to be at when she was nearby, I called it and asked if someone with her name worked there, and got no name. But she told my friend that she works for an "agency" that places doctors—she's like a traveling doctor that can go from one hospital to the next, and that's why they didn't have her name in the registry.
...They talk on the phone and text 24/7...go to sleep on the phone together....wake up together and continue talking... he's definitely in a committed relationship with SOME FEMALE on the other end, but I have no idea what's going on... it's surreal. They've already planned to move in together, have kids, etc. I keep trying to tell him to open his eyes, go meet her, etc. but he doesn't want to do it without her permission. He told me he's actually fallen in love with her and I feel like he almost doesn't want to crush the vision and I'm really worried for him. He even told me that if she's been lying, he'd still give her a chance if she explains herself... They tell each other they love each other all the time, they are constantly texting "I miss you, I love you, etc"....and they haven't even met. It's bizarre.